my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
