He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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