So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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