I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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