Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
