No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
