We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
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