Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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