am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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