we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize