Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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