Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
