Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
