Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
