I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
