I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize