I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
