AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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