its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
