Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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