sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
