on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize