I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
