this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize