I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
