i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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