She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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