Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
