Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm really busy with my period
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