Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
