Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
