Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
