Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
