is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
