I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What drink are we having for lunch?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm having to shit out rocks
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