I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
