I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
