Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
