oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
