So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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