"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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