thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
