It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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