I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
