i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize