i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
