dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
