You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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