she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
