guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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