nut hugger
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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