two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize