I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
