I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
