k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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