Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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