Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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