i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
