so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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