Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize