I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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